How your soul saves your life

Those of you following my writing, my postings, my blog, do know that I strongly believe in making your light seen, shining bright, being heard. Now, your purpose in life, your soul, the saving of your life and those of many others are all intertwined. Want to know why you are the most important being in the world?

Well, I could just say: because it is so and I know it for a fact.

No matter if you are stubborn, a believer, a non-believer, intelligent, or even a cynicist, you might not take that for an answer. Alright! I have done a lot of research in the last year. I wanted to know why I had this strong conviction that going your way is important, why I felt so sure that an individual can change everything. I wanted to see that this is not just a childhood fantasy. I needed scientific proof. 
Luckily, people a lot wiser than me are bothered by the same thing. That allowed me to have proof for what my inner voice said was true. Today I am happy to share some explanations.

1. The world needs you
There are many people with a unique talent. It might be something as great as discovering a cure to an illness or a solution to an everlasting problem. 
Or it might be the right word at the right time touching the person next to you so she can take the next step. A tissue offered or a freshly baked cake. It might be many things. The common factor is: it‘s because of you, because of who you are, really are. You are the key. 

Isn‘t it fantatsic that just being yourself is enough? That you are what the world wants. Such a great thing. And it is really true.

Have you ever listened to a TED-talk? Every now and then I do. Just some weeks ago I listened to this lovely woman talking about kids and education, about how we micromanage every step of our children‘s lives and how we set the goals they are supposed to achieve. What is driving us is our conviction that there is one, and only one way to happiness. The common path is being accepted by an elite university. Because we will only be happy when Harvard chooses THE child to be one of the elite. Because we love our children and are convinced that Harvard is necessary for them to lead a rewarding, fulfilling, happy life. 
Only, so the speaker told us, she had found out the happiest, most successful people sometimes were those following a course at….the Community College. 
Tough one, huh? Or an idealist? Maybe. 

Let me ask you something. Would you really have wanted the world to miss Steve Jobs? Walt Disney? Your grandma? 

​​ I for sure would not. As my grandmother was one of the most terrific people you could have met. She gave me so much, was there for me, accepted my decisions even if they did not sit well with her idea of the world. She was never allowed to have a higher education. Not just because of her, but for many people I have met, I feel greatness comes from within, not any university degree or job title. 
And of course I could live without my Macbook, but really? Writing it all in word? Sorry, Mr. Gates. I am a sucker for pages. 

2. Being yourself – the base for a great relationship
The best relationships are those between individuals who know themselves and take responsibility for their lives, their happiness. People brave enough to show themselves. 
If you are single, be yourself and love will come your way. Make your life everything you would want it to be had your partner already made his or her appearance. Because that is when you are no longer waiting, looking, wanting. How is the old saying? When you least expect it…
Don‘t believe me? Either hop over to John Gray‘s website or finish reading this first. I‘d be happy if you would stay here a little longer. 
Think of it: if you would not be responsible for your partner‘s happiness, how much relief would you feel? You would still support her, cherish her, let her be strong or weak, let her shine or hold her when she needs it. You would still ask him to listen, you would not hold back and you would not assume that he has to know what you are thinking, feeling.. . You‘d share in a respectful way. 
I do believe that love is the greatest gift of all. And I think most women want to be swept of their feet by their own knight. And I think men want to have the chance to be knights. So, if you are truly longing for the one to complete you, tell me: could he possibly know it‘s you? Or are you hiding yourself?Are you offering her what you really want to offer or holding back, because it’s not necessary/done/you have been burnt before? Or are you hiding yourself? 
If you decide to be you, to live, fight, court, make love the way it really suits you, the you beneath the pain, betrayal, hurt, fears, and (lost) hope, it takes a lot. Still, it‘s the only chance for reward.

3. Your children need you
Children are direct, honest and they do not hide. Not their emotions, not their likes or dislikes. They are true to themselves and true to the world. 
While growing up, the child becomes aware of his surroundings and learns that she has an affect on others. His behaviour does indeed effect the people around him and it does effect how she is treated: 
I smile and I get a cookie. I voice my concern and am sent off to my room.I achieve something really big and the people around me share my happiness. I am winning a prize and rewarded with envy and terrible jokes. 
Children are such a blessing. They know and see so much more than we are aware of. Until the day your little one looks up at you with those trusting eyes and suddenly the light there is gone. 
Such things should never happen, still they do. As a result of our upbringing on the one hand and the fact that we are in the middle of an evolutionary step on the other, we feel like something‘s tearing us apart. 
Children need real values more than anything else, except unconditional love. The good thing is: We were brought up with a lot of rules and principles. The bad thing is: We were brought up with a lot of rules and principles. 
We have those principles but being true, shining your soul‘s light requires that you go over every single principle and decide whether or not it is yours to keep and follow. 
And then dig deeper: Is it a principle? 
Is a cruel joke okay because it is acceptable by society‘s standards? Or is it just plain cruel? Is it really cool to let kids play video games all the time? Or is it convenient? Is it helpful not to have any rules? Is it helpful not to help? Is it helpful to plan every step of their way? 
As a child you look up to those raising you. We learn from and copy those who are around us. When you have a really good day, when you are feeling strong and powerful, ask yourself: would I really want my daughter to learn this from me? Go over the last few days and think of it. Would you?Would I want her to face such a situation and think it has to be that way? You might. Then you might look at other situations and discover that deep inside yourself you can‘t stand the fact, or you cannot even stand yourself for letting this happen.
Would I want my son to feel hated, just because I cannot overcome my resentments for my ex-partner? Would I want him to think of himself as superior because he is a man? I might, until the day he is the one daddie‘s little girl is presenting as a boyfriend. You would teach this boy a valuable lesson then, wouldn‘t you? 
Your child loves you. He wants you to be a shining light, someone she can rely upon, someone who is a parent, a true person. A knight guiding him along his way. You are all this. 
Teach them well and learn from them. 

4. It‘s the cure
Whatever is bothering you, you are the cure. It is not in the outside world, not in other people, not in being dependent, being needed, the strongest of all. And lest of all the cure can be found in drugs. 
Heartbreak, boredom, or even depression – it can be cured the moment you take one tiny, single step toward your goal. 
The moment I take up the pen, whatever pain I suffer from lessens and my light, my belief, my awareness of what I can change rises and strengthens me somehow. I become aware that I do have power, an impact and that none of this power is hurtful, destroying (a typical fear in women) or that my aggression is put to good use because it‘s channelled the right way. My light outshines the dark. 
So whatever is bothering you – or even if you are not bothered by anything anymore – do what you loved as a child. Do what is really yours. And take every effort it takes to find out what it is, what you were destined for and make it real. 

5. The world needs you
Have said that before, haven‘t I? As a single thought can change the world, your light, your power born in and radiating from your soul, your authentic self, is all we need for a better world.
You are what we need. Period.
And who are you to judge your dream? A higher power – whatever name you want to give this power – created you because you are needed. It gave you this purpose. And as long as you are not up to confront this power and convince it that it was so wrong, as long as you cannot make him step down from the job and out you in charge instead,  you have to live with the one true fact: you are wonderful, terrific, and needed. Your soul‘s light and purpose are there for a reason. 
Let‘s have fun and blossom up 🙂

(c) Dr. Verena Radlingmayr,