Power of thought

How thoughts make an impact: organic products in supermarkets are just the beginning 

When people went grocery shopping in the 80’s and early nineties they might have been interested in quality, but not in buying local or organic. Ever since, the organic market grew and European supermarkets started a trend of launching their own organic brands. This trend swapped from Europe over to the US and is reaching New Zealand, too. Why? How? It started with a thought. At one point, one person dared greatly imagining a world where organic products would be available everywhere, where such products would be fair and affordable. Maybe they turned anger and resentment into a vision. Or were just awfully optimistic. No matter which, they succeeded. Achieved the impossible. And it started with a thought.

Moving mountains

Impossible is a big word. It’s a no to your dreams. It prevents you from talking the first step into a new direction. Makes the mountain insurmountable. It’s used in companies to shut down ideas before they even sprout. It’s used by you inner critic to ensure you don’t dare and change. It’s used by parents, teachers, neighbours, friends. Impossibly well-meaning people. 

Doubt, fear, anxiety, a lack of self-esteem and self-worth stick to impossible like bees to honey. Rationalising is the grown-up version of the dream-killing impossible. Coming up with a list of arguments is the brick wall used to crash dreams on. You are a crash test dummy and the brick wall is a reaction of people lacking your vision. 

And they are not to blame, not at fault. It is your vision and it is your job to make them see, understand. To find those who can see the future your way. Endure. Persevere. Hold on. 

Impossible is just that. A word. What meaning we adjust to it is up to us. Instead of letting it stop you, it could be the challenge you need. It could fuel you with energy, creating thoughts like ‘I will show you!’

In the 80s, maybe even earlier, one person started a thought process that turned into today’s reality of supermarket brands for organic products. It started as a thought, an idea of creating the impossible. Turns out it was possible after all. 

The power of thought

Centuries ago, the greek philosophers knew that the power of thought, of perspective and perception, is as real as sunlight, caves, and fire. They advised their followers, their pupils, to be aware of the traps the human mind is lured into. To doubt the image of reality to create a better life for all humankind.

Fast forward a few centuries: at the beginning of the 20th century Swiss psychiatrist C.G. Jung came up with the idea of the collective unconscious. He showed that we are all interlinked, connected in a way that individual influences the collective and the collective the individual.

A bit later, Viktor Frankl, whose logo therapy postulates that meaning is an objective reality, built the foundation for a new outlook on life. Not just his own, but those of thousands, of generations. And the idea prevails, culminating in popular books like ‘The Secret’ or the Global Coherence Initiative by HeartMath Institute, an international effort that seeks to help activate the heart of humanity and promote peace, harmony and a shift in global consciousness

The idea has been redesigned and renamed, but the core principle remains the same: thought is impact. Collective thoughts are a huge impact. 

Complaining and fear are counterproductive 

Covid19 is an impossible situation giving rise to fear, anxiety, and complaints. Complaining about the situation and worrying have an impact. Beware of your thoughts: they have an impact, wether they are positive or negative. Your thoughts create n impact that will affect your children, your partner, your co-workers. Do you want them to share your vision of hope or your horrors? Your aspiring dreams or your lack of imagination? Negative thoughts have negative impact. To others as swell as yourself. They will hurt your soul, your goals and your stability. And will impact business life, success and focus, health and environment. The next generation. Negative thoughts are poison for the collective conscious and unconscious. Negativity is dripping acid into your soul, your neighbour’s soul, your child’s soul. 

Viktor Frankl, survivor of the Nazi concentration camp, chose hope, a positive outlook and  thereby inspired himself and generations of people to come. Even now, 74 years after it was first published, his book Men’s search for meaning is a constant bestseller. Why? Because we all need inspiration. We all need hope. And we all want to believe in a better future. 

Covid10 does more than cause anxiety and financial problems. It also inspires initiatives to create impact, togetherness, and long-term change. Recently, Stephanie Defregger’s and my topic proposal of ‘Kindness – Creating a future from the heart’ was chosen by participants of New Zealand’s first online Impact Unconference as one of the topics they wanted to hear. This conference made an impact because we all need to know that others believe, too. Believing in a better future beats complaining every step of the way. Believing in a better future is the antidote, the future. Because your thoughts and our future are identical. The same.

We chose kindness for two reasons: Stephanie is a firm believer in living from the heart. Touched and inspired by Mother Teresa, she is a living, breathing example of a kind person. I work with children to help them establish their own core values and was astonished when the two common denominators in the children’s answers were kindness and environ-friendly behaviour. The fact that children can imagine a world of kindness, a better future for themselves and our planet was inspiring not just for Steph and me, but shaping the program of the Unconference in a way water would shape its way towards the ocean, towards its destinations, towards destiny. 

It started small with but a thought. And affected 300 attendees, all the people watching the videos, you and me.

Conclusion

It’s possible. It’s possible to change the world by starting with a thought. Be as careful with your thoughts as you would be with your business, your baby, or your flowers. When dark thoughts creep in like poison, look the other way. Because where there is light, there is darkness. Hence where there is darkness, there is light. 

PS: Want to explain the concept for your child? Try Peter Pan… a happy thought makes you fly, a bad thought kills a fairy…

Dr. Verena Radlingmayr is a bioresonance therapist helping people adjust their balance in health, love, and life and coach for values. Her books and blog support the idea of strong individuals forming strong relationships and open your mind to new possibilities. 

Nature’s hidden habitants

NATURE AND HER HIDDEN HABITANTS 

Once upon a time, a long time ago the denizens of the world, who called themselves humans, knew they were not the only humans to live on this planet. We humans, to say the Fine Folk, Fairies, Littlies, we are the humans, considering. It’s a shame they stole this name from us. A shame. 

But, what is, is, muggles are just the way they are. Brash children, wild bantlings, naive rulers. Ah, what we haven’t seen, experienced, suffered, sustained. 

But those muggles, do they learn? We ask ourselves that—and think, and feel. Seem, it does, that too many worries make it hard to deny the supernatural as banal. Seem, it does, that there are so many fears that everyone feels so it’s hard to declare empathy, the ability to feel others emotions, a scam. It seems, it seems, that someone finally hears our voice and gives a little of her time and a bit of patience because we don’t think in linear head patterns but in those warm, meandering patterns of the flows of the heart. 

Yes we – the first humans. We are Fairies (and don’t you use those small letters, no!), Elves, Gargoyles, Gnomes, Light Shrats and Wood Shrats (not forrest goblins), Leprechauns, Faun, Flower Pixies, Devas, Sprites, and Water Beings, Unicorns, Dragons…. and they all have dark opposites. Brr. But we don’t talk about that today. Brr…Faugh!
We are many and we are always around. 

We have been here first. And why shouldn’t we take back what is ours? A nice pen, a piece of wire, licking some honey. Mm, we love that. But muggles – don’t. No, no muggles don’t.

Well, some are not monsters. But they are loud. So loud. So loud. 

LOUD.

L   –  O  – U  –  U  –  D.

Dragon of light with company logo – artist: pixabay, Logo: VR

Can you hear them? How their noisy thoughts are broadcast through the air? Can you hear them? How they slap and slap it all around, around? Everything is loud: them, their technology, their lives, even their deaths and passing over is loud.

Shhht. Some don’t go. They just don’t go. They die, are dead. And remain here. But why? No decency there. The animals have become noisy too. They carry chips, mechanical parts, and those are loud, a torture for them, for us. Hearts break. Are getting heavy. But humans can’t hear evermore. 

The Water Sprites cry. But who will help? Children forget their finer senses and become dull, so much so that everything in them denies, blocks, lampoons.

Potterlotter.  

And some of the olde is true, when a fairy’s light diminishes because another child has lost his faith, it’s two lights that rise towards the heavens. Because the child’s soul too is light. It has been born as light and only in the light it can remain. Hence it needs to understand all of what’s at hand: The Fine World, Fairies, Elves, Gnomes, Brownies,…

And what is it you do with those unicorn figurines? Have your brains gone over board? Scandalous! Commerce, capital for the banks, looking at them is torture. The most noble amongst us so disgraced. It needed to be said this boldly. 

Once upon a time everyone had the wisdom of how to stay in our good graces. Forget haughtiness and false pride, instead show your highest esteem and gratefulness for everything and all, and our togetherness will be blessed. 

We are Nature
We are Life
We are the threads
we weave our world to yours again
not as you see fit, but as does a higher Sovereign

We are at your side in need
a piece of bread we please
we offer consolation 
and colourful ribbons we could use in celebration
we love laughing and music, make space, move a little

so we can come together in happy cheer
dance together throughout the year
as symbol of the reunion
come on, you knew this would be on!

We are real, as real as you
your inner guide will tell you what to do
to do right follow your heart
the best part, your heart. 

FINE ASPECTS OF RELATIONSHIPS

THE FINER ASPECTS OF RELATIONSHIPS 

Relationships are the gift of the Gods and can easily turn into something else entirely. This blog intends to paint a picture of glories past and build a bridge between then and now so hopefully what was nearly lost will be known, lived, and aspired to again. This is a blog to remind everyone of the finer, subtle aspects of relationships. Because despite all the beauty and love, these have gone under. This blog post is neither a warning nor a scolding. It is a message to the hearts, the personalities and your relational field. May you be blessed with connections that leave you happy, fulfilled, and individual. 

There are a lot of people out there who are truly lonely. There are those lonely by choice and those lonely by circumstances. Never before have I heard so many people longing for a relationship and so many people fed up with relationships. And never before have there been so many people unconcerned about the environment. This is all related, we are all connected and we are in tune in sync, and symbioses with nature. 

Not true, you might counter. Because you see all these happy couples, you see families having a great time. You support those who fight against plastic in the ocean, and those who march for their future on Fridays. And that’s true. There is a lot of positive change, a lot if idealistic energy, and a lot of relationships. 

What’s lost

Once upon a time, love used to be a man’s greatest gift. He would be so honoured, so moved, so delighted, so careful, so wowed, so shaken by this one woman. He would court her, woo her and make plans for their future together. There would be no doubt in his mind, nor his heart. He would not have to think about wether he’d ask for her hand in marriage. He’d be sure. He would have to convince her that he is the man for her.

Once upon a time a woman had the chance to take a breath and have a look into the man’s character before giving in. She knew he would be tenacious, because he had a goal and that was being the man worth spending the rest of his life with her. 

Once upon a time, children grew up seeing their parents making a life for themselves based on love, trust, values, and common goals. They learned by osmosis how to go about life, how the finer aspects of a community work: with respect, boundaries, and highest regard for everyone’s individuality. 

Once upon a time, a fairy was a respected guest and their needs taken into consideration, not only for fear of retaliation, but out of respect. Once upon a time humans knew the world bond: that there is no living without Earth, that Earth can exist without us, but we can’t exist without Earth. 

Fine tuning 

When we think of being in a relationship we often think of love, or lust. About being parents. A mum, a dad. A friend or a co-worker. But what is a relationship? A relationship is the same magic that makes a flower bloom, it’s the loving energy that breaths life into the trees and creates a new being. 

A relationships is so much more than living together. It’s the fun and colours a woman brings into a man’s life. It’s appreciating a man’s one-mindedness. It’s giving a gentle kiss before s/he leaves the house. And one when s/he comes back. It’s making an effort to feel the subtleties and nuances and to create a reality meeting everyone’s needs. 

Fine-tuning relationships and reviving lost ideas is not about being a hopeless romantic, its about survival. We march for our future on Fridays and through a tin of coke out the car window Saturday. We march for our future on Friday, but getting there requires everyone to go by car. Not together. Because arranging a fix time for meeting has become so unpopular. Why would you, if you can message that you are here, now. 

We celebrate weddings as if there was no tomorrow. In some countries accumulating huge debt is considered a small price to pay for the dream wedding. Time and energy better spent on your future plans, your vision, your mission. Because as a couple, what do you want to achieve in life? Family, travelling, having lunch together every Sunday? Do you want to read over breakfast, or chat and talk?

A facebook post is not a relationship, it’s not even communication. It’s shouting a message to the masses hoping someone will feel addressed. You may like and comment how ever much you wish but nothing, nothing will ever transport the feeling of friendship, trust, or love the way direct, personal communication does. Or a hug. Or ringing someone because you feel like they could need a friend.

It’s about time to appreciate each other. It’s about time to see the differences, celebrate them, and be considerate of what this means in day-to-day life. It’s about time we see the magic in the blooming rose, sense the energy that makes a seed sprout and realise that the same energy makes love, relationships, families, the world go round.

Subtleties and nuances

Technology—as much as I love it—needs to be balanced by real, natural feelings. The blunt ones and the finer ones.

It’s those finer frequencies that are easily ignored, forgotten, overheard. Especially in relationships: some give too much, others too little. Overbearing, oversharing, overstepping, out of line meet coldness, indifference, or—the worst kind of love: indecisiveness.  

I have never seen people more heartbroken then when the person who loves them says: I can’t. I won’t. It’s better for the kids. It’s not the right time.

And I have never seen people more lonely than those who are ignored in the relationships supposed to nurture them. If needs are ignored or argued away. Logic, the cruel kind, kills love, and lives.

Subtle and soft. Silent and quaint. It’s the small gestures and the subtle changes. We can all come together in a crisis, but can we under normal circumstances?

Listen and sense

The energy that breaths life into a flower for it to bloom is a subtle one. A miracle. It’s the same miracle required to have a relationship. Appreciation, respect, care, tenderness, boundaries, work, to only mention a few, are needed to make relationships work. And at the root of it all lies individuality. Yours and your family members’. 

This subtle energy is not easy to describe. It needs to be experienced. It needs to be cultivated, learned, trained. It is the small gesture like touching your fingertip to the cheeks of the person you love. It is knowing how they drink their tea and prepare it just the right way. It is looking at a flower and gain some understanding from it. It’s being aware that we are all vulnerable, connected, and needy. 

Any time is the right time to reconsider the essentials. What you really need, what you really want to give. Shut off your mobile, your social media account and the hysteria coming from it, and take a breath, or a bath. Or invent something. Try to feel what those around you need and then define what you are willing to give. You can’t be everything for everyone, you can’t be their all, but you can be the world for some.

Do you have to hit the bottom?

Do you have to hit the bottom?

We often hear stories about someone who hit the bottom, lost it all or had to overcome a life-threatening disease. We admire these people, admire their strengths and are willing to accept them as heroes. As we should. 

As it is, those extraordinary people are teaching us a wonderful lesson: we have the ability to overcome any obstacles life is putting in front of us. 

Still, as I see those stories and how some people are influenced by said stories, I do get the impression that people sometimes get the wrong message. Before I tell you what this message is, let me explain the circumstances. 

Life is a teacher. And life means well. Do you remember those teachers back in school you really respected? They treated you fair, demanded the best you had to give, respecting your boundaries but never letting you get away with less than they knew you could do?

I did have such a teacher and honest to God: sometimes she annoyed the hell out of me. Life can be the same. We are in the middle of a global change expanding our range of capabilities. But do we know what we are capable of? Do we even realize that we have a lot more tools, more internal knowledge, and more features we can use? Sometimes we don‘t. 

Life – or whatever you call it, the Force, God, inner guidance – sees us and is dealing us the cards we are capable dealing with. Only we think we can‘t. The very fact makes for a rather stressful situation.

Combine this with the ongoing change – and change is never easy on any one – and you already feel exhausted just trying to align the facts. In such a situation it is easy to mix things up. To get it wrong. 

And while I like a story of empowerment and victory as much as the next person, I don‘t want you to get the wrong message.

You don‘t have to loose it all. You don‘t have to give everything up. You just have to be true to yourself and your path, your way. 

To paint a picture: think of what you want as a particular mountain top. Some of us have chosen the wrong path, a path to another mountain top. Hence, they are heading up a path that‘s not suitable. It is either too steep, too cold, too hot or just not right. 

If you figure that out, you have two options: follow the path, because your are already up quite a bit, or going to find your path. 

Option one is considered the easier choice. And sometimes even considered the right choice. As you have found a partner accepted by your social environment, as you are living a good life you should not give it up. People will frown on your thoughts and explain why you are wrong. 

You are requested to ignore the feeling of uneasiness, the desire, even a strong urge to get it right. Because it will pass, it‘s just a bleep. 

That‘s because right now there a just a few people willing to risk living a true life. As we are only at the beginning of this evolutional step you might not find what you looking for in others. It is a path, a decision fuelled by your inner wisdom and strength, by the core of your true self. And when did you last consult your inner wisdom fo rhelp? Your connection might have become a bit rusty. It might freak you out to listen to yourself. The path you want to follow might appear like a minefield and might mean to risk loosing some of what you accomplished. What for? For a destiny that is only promising in a far future? For true love, that might only trap you, might turn out to just be as wrong as the love you have? For going your way, something you never did before? 

That‘s where some of us take the decision to follow the path they have chosen. And it is still good and easy. It fits like a well worn pair of jeans. And then you start disliking your jeans. But you feel you have come so far – even farther than before – and you just can‘t go back.

Well, you always can. You always have the right to choose your path. To do what you want and dream of. 

Sonnenblume gelb grün

Even if you chose the right path to your particular mountain top, you are not save. It then might happen that life asks you to prove yourself – and it feels like loosing it all. When all it is is just the next step on the ladder. 

Why am I telling you all this? Personal development is getting harder. Harder because you might not know what you are capable of. You might even know what life requires, wants, offers. Still you just can‘t – cannot because you don‘t know, or because you are afraid. Or – and that‘s a harsh thing – life reminds you of a trauma and you freeze. An old but open wound that leaves you immobilized. Then do not seek help to overcome the obstacle. Seek help to overcome the state of shock or fear you are in. Because life you can handle. 

I am telling you this because

You don‘t have to loose it all. 

Just let go of the baggage you don‘t need, the old fears, the idea that you are meant to being alone. 

You don‘t have to manage it yourself. The strength is there as is the guidance. But it is important to have a network of loving supporters and helpful like-minded people. So go out looking for your path, do what needs to be done and keep your eyes open for those people doing the same thing. You might one day call them friends, or family.  

YOUR OWN VOICE

Your own voice

New Zealand has a tradition you might not have heard of yet – the Haka. The Haka is a traditional Maori dance, war cry or challenge. You sing, someone answers. You gather strength, energy and bond together. And at the end, eyes wide open, you scream ,Haka‘ while sticking out your tongue. That‘s to present your soul. 
The intent strongly depends on circumstances. For example, if you just insulted the war chief, the Haka he and his tribe will present to you will not be one to welcome you to the iwi. 
If, for example, you are a great rugby player, one day you might be playing against the New Zealand national team, the All Blacks (please forgive my for simplyfing the Rugby system). Then you will have to face those terribly strong guys shouting and stamping – and you are going to really feel their power, their eagerness and strong conviction transported in their Haka. 

Will you be up to the challenge?
I am not an expert on the Haka, so this few sentences only decribe some aspects of the truth. But some of the most fun and playful lessons I ever learned about life are tied to a great man teaching me and my fellow travellers how to Haka.

„We teach our children the Haka so that they find their own voice.“ Because by stomping, singing from all of your heart and finally sticking out your tongue you express your true soul. Now, if that doesn‘t sound like fun, what does? 

So, would you like to hear more about this? As I discovered the beautiful land of the green hills, the land where Hobbits hunted for the ring and an elf princess would fly over the land riding her powerful horse, the land of freedom and magic, I found so much beauty. Although you might not guess it right away, I have always been somewhat shy. Not shy when it comes to represent others or fight for them, but shy expressing my needs and my true desires. Or, as my guide would say, shy to use my voice. 

I do find our environment a little rough and not always „voice-friendly“. More often than not you are rewarded for fitting in rather than being assertive. You are chastised when you refuse to let others overstep your boundaries. So instead of supporting you and thereby nourishing your sense of self, self-esteem, and self-worth, grown ups often just don‘t get it. 

So there I stood in a middle of a crowd and tried to follow the steps while feeling embarrassed even before I started to sing – how others manage to sing in tune is a riddle to me. However, I was so impressed by the beauty of my teacher‘s voice when he intoned the first line of the song and enthralled by his desire to teach us, to let us discover this part of his world, that I didn‘t hesitate and gave in to my true desire: I sang. I do love to sing and this time I was not so concerned with getting it right. And tell you what: I found my voice – and it never went away.

Opening my eyes wide in this land of magic, my soul came to life. And with it my voice. My desires. My hopes and needs. 

When did you last stand up for yourself? When did you ignore the feeling that someone did not treat you right and just said nothing or „It‘s ok“? You don‘t have to insult someone to express your voice. While I would suggest listening when you always get the response that your words are hurtful and cruel I also know that there is enough space for your individual voice. 
And I tell you another little secret, just between the two of us. Ready? We need your voice, your intelligence, your ideas. We need you. The real you. You own something so particular, so unique that it is your right and your duty to be true to yourself. One day you might have to fulfill a deed, solve a problem. But what if you are not ready? What if fate knocks on your door inviting you for the greatest adventure of your life – and you have forgotten to get ready? This only happens when you forget your voice. But don‘t worry – fate is friendly. Fate helps you get your voice back when you lost it along the way. 
And who knows – help might come as a journey to another country where someone teaches you to stick out your tongue and really mean it. That‘s me – take it or leave it. 
Next time you want to stick out your tongue do it right, mean it!

Rapunzel

What Rapunzel can teach you

Rapunzel-as well as many other heroines-had been locked in a tower. An evil lady had closed her off from the world. She was not only kept from life, but also from love, care, and self-fulfillment. Maybe the lady was convinced it was enough she loved Rapunzel.

Aschenputtel, also known as Cindarella, had an evil stepmother who kept her from enjoying her inherited fortune and status. And a father who was unaware of his daughter’s distress.

And although neither of them had a choice, happiness found them. 

How? Because the prince climbed the turret and freed Rapunzel? Because Aschenputtel is gifted the right dress to enchant the prince? Maybe not.

To me, Rapunzel and Aschenputtel are the epitome of female strength and courage. Rapunzel did not stand at her window and plead for the knight to come to her rescue. She did not quarrel with life. She sings. But as love, a chance, comes in her window she embraces it. How courageous does one have to be to act as such?

And Aschenputtel, who is truly hurt, who mourns the death of her mother, bravely endures the injustice, still has an open heart and loads of kindness. As she is offered a chance to go to the ball-she takes it. That is courageous and strong. She did not let the ordeal get to her. If she had she would have told the fairy godmother: Thanks, but I am really not good enough.

What did attract ttheir respective prince-charmings? Rapunzels singing and Aschenputtel’s humble beauty. Their true core. The prince is attracted to a woman who is true to herself, loving, strong, and grateful. The prince was attracted by her true being. By the woman who trustingly remains true to herself, who retains composure and grace, who has an open heart. Rapunzel & Aschenputtel are strong, brave women. They are capable to master their fate, to seize a chance, and to love. Through all their stark and lonely existence they kept living the qualities of their hearts without a hidden agenda. And in the end, are truly blessed.

Verena Radlingmayr writes and coaches to inspire people to follow their heart.

How your soul saves your life

How your soul saves your life

Those of you following my writing, my postings, my blog, do know that I strongly believe in making your light seen, shining bright, being heard. Now, your purpose in life, your soul, the saving of your life and those of many others are all intertwined. Want to know why you are the most important being in the world?

Well, I could just say: because it is so and I know it for a fact.

No matter if you are stubborn, a believer, a non-believer, intelligent, or even a cynicist, you might not take that for an answer. Alright! I have done a lot of research in the last year. I wanted to know why I had this strong conviction that going your way is important, why I felt so sure that an individual can change everything. I wanted to see that this is not just a childhood fantasy. I needed scientific proof. 
Luckily, people a lot wiser than me are bothered by the same thing. That allowed me to have proof for what my inner voice said was true. Today I am happy to share some explanations.

1. The world needs you
There are many people with a unique talent. It might be something as great as discovering a cure to an illness or a solution to an everlasting problem. 
Or it might be the right word at the right time touching the person next to you so she can take the next step. A tissue offered or a freshly baked cake. It might be many things. The common factor is: it‘s because of you, because of who you are, really are. You are the key. 

Isn‘t it fantatsic that just being yourself is enough? That you are what the world wants. Such a great thing. And it is really true.

Have you ever listened to a TED-talk? Every now and then I do. Just some weeks ago I listened to this lovely woman talking about kids and education, about how we micromanage every step of our children‘s lives and how we set the goals they are supposed to achieve. What is driving us is our conviction that there is one, and only one way to happiness. The common path is being accepted by an elite university. Because we will only be happy when Harvard chooses THE child to be one of the elite. Because we love our children and are convinced that Harvard is necessary for them to lead a rewarding, fulfilling, happy life. 
Only, so the speaker told us, she had found out the happiest, most successful people sometimes were those following a course at….the Community College. 
Tough one, huh? Or an idealist? Maybe. 

Let me ask you something. Would you really have wanted the world to miss Steve Jobs? Walt Disney? Your grandma? 

​​ I for sure would not. As my grandmother was one of the most terrific people you could have met. She gave me so much, was there for me, accepted my decisions even if they did not sit well with her idea of the world. She was never allowed to have a higher education. Not just because of her, but for many people I have met, I feel greatness comes from within, not any university degree or job title. 
And of course I could live without my Macbook, but really? Writing it all in word? Sorry, Mr. Gates. I am a sucker for pages. 

2. Being yourself – the base for a great relationship
The best relationships are those between individuals who know themselves and take responsibility for their lives, their happiness. People brave enough to show themselves. 
If you are single, be yourself and love will come your way. Make your life everything you would want it to be had your partner already made his or her appearance. Because that is when you are no longer waiting, looking, wanting. How is the old saying? When you least expect it…
Don‘t believe me? Either hop over to John Gray‘s website or finish reading this first. I‘d be happy if you would stay here a little longer. 
Think of it: if you would not be responsible for your partner‘s happiness, how much relief would you feel? You would still support her, cherish her, let her be strong or weak, let her shine or hold her when she needs it. You would still ask him to listen, you would not hold back and you would not assume that he has to know what you are thinking, feeling.. . You‘d share in a respectful way. 
I do believe that love is the greatest gift of all. And I think most women want to be swept of their feet by their own knight. And I think men want to have the chance to be knights. So, if you are truly longing for the one to complete you, tell me: could he possibly know it‘s you? Or are you hiding yourself?Are you offering her what you really want to offer or holding back, because it’s not necessary/done/you have been burnt before? Or are you hiding yourself? 
If you decide to be you, to live, fight, court, make love the way it really suits you, the you beneath the pain, betrayal, hurt, fears, and (lost) hope, it takes a lot. Still, it‘s the only chance for reward.

3. Your children need you
Children are direct, honest and they do not hide. Not their emotions, not their likes or dislikes. They are true to themselves and true to the world. 
While growing up, the child becomes aware of his surroundings and learns that she has an affect on others. His behaviour does indeed effect the people around him and it does effect how she is treated: 
I smile and I get a cookie. I voice my concern and am sent off to my room.I achieve something really big and the people around me share my happiness. I am winning a prize and rewarded with envy and terrible jokes. 
Children are such a blessing. They know and see so much more than we are aware of. Until the day your little one looks up at you with those trusting eyes and suddenly the light there is gone. 
Such things should never happen, still they do. As a result of our upbringing on the one hand and the fact that we are in the middle of an evolutionary step on the other, we feel like something‘s tearing us apart. 
Children need real values more than anything else, except unconditional love. The good thing is: We were brought up with a lot of rules and principles. The bad thing is: We were brought up with a lot of rules and principles. 
We have those principles but being true, shining your soul‘s light requires that you go over every single principle and decide whether or not it is yours to keep and follow. 
And then dig deeper: Is it a principle? 
Is a cruel joke okay because it is acceptable by society‘s standards? Or is it just plain cruel? Is it really cool to let kids play video games all the time? Or is it convenient? Is it helpful not to have any rules? Is it helpful not to help? Is it helpful to plan every step of their way? 
As a child you look up to those raising you. We learn from and copy those who are around us. When you have a really good day, when you are feeling strong and powerful, ask yourself: would I really want my daughter to learn this from me? Go over the last few days and think of it. Would you?Would I want her to face such a situation and think it has to be that way? You might. Then you might look at other situations and discover that deep inside yourself you can‘t stand the fact, or you cannot even stand yourself for letting this happen.
Would I want my son to feel hated, just because I cannot overcome my resentments for my ex-partner? Would I want him to think of himself as superior because he is a man? I might, until the day he is the one daddie‘s little girl is presenting as a boyfriend. You would teach this boy a valuable lesson then, wouldn‘t you? 
Your child loves you. He wants you to be a shining light, someone she can rely upon, someone who is a parent, a true person. A knight guiding him along his way. You are all this. 
Teach them well and learn from them. 

4. It‘s the cure
Whatever is bothering you, you are the cure. It is not in the outside world, not in other people, not in being dependent, being needed, the strongest of all. And lest of all the cure can be found in drugs. 
Heartbreak, boredom, or even depression – it can be cured the moment you take one tiny, single step toward your goal. 
The moment I take up the pen, whatever pain I suffer from lessens and my light, my belief, my awareness of what I can change rises and strengthens me somehow. I become aware that I do have power, an impact and that none of this power is hurtful, destroying (a typical fear in women) or that my aggression is put to good use because it‘s channelled the right way. My light outshines the dark. 
So whatever is bothering you – or even if you are not bothered by anything anymore – do what you loved as a child. Do what is really yours. And take every effort it takes to find out what it is, what you were destined for and make it real. 

5. The world needs you
Have said that before, haven‘t I? As a single thought can change the world, your light, your power born in and radiating from your soul, your authentic self, is all we need for a better world.
You are what we need. Period.
And who are you to judge your dream? A higher power – whatever name you want to give this power – created you because you are needed. It gave you this purpose. And as long as you are not up to confront this power and convince it that it was so wrong, as long as you cannot make him step down from the job and out you in charge instead,  you have to live with the one true fact: you are wonderful, terrific, and needed. Your soul‘s light and purpose are there for a reason. 
Let‘s have fun and blossom up 🙂

(c) Dr. Verena Radlingmayr, emc4success.com

Dad’s wanted

Honourful dads – a gift to change the world

 I was invited to join a special tour of the Herberstein zoo. I was delighted just thinking of it. Imagine you could go through parts of this tremendous zoo while no other visitors are around and nice guides explain the world of animals to you.

We saw Simba, the retiring lion king, and Cesar, his successor. The leopards, pelicans, and all sorts of monkeys, some dangerous, some just too cute for words, a tiny little guenon – and many more, along with beautiful flowers and stunning trees. We climbed the hill to reach our destination, the puma’s rock. On our way we passed the rhea, some cute birds.

Seidenbaum
Animals @ Herberstein

Two of them, full of love, trotting along me like companions or bird guards. One, an all-white rhea, was a bit aggressive. My heart ached for the bird who obviously felt threatened, scared, and maybe a little unwell with himself. He hissed, opening his mouth wide. We tried not to stress him further, hence stepped further away from the fence and retraced our path. 

Except for one dad, who taught his boys how to instigate the bird even more. They attacked it with sticks, trying to stab its mouth. I turned round and asked him to stop. “You really should not tease this bird any more.” His reply? “Of course we should.” I said. “No, you should not. Stop it.” He stopped then – but the damage was done.

This man was rude and mean in so many ways – scaring a defenceless animal, teaching his kids how to do it and giving them the impression it were ok to do so! – and, that a man doesn’t listen to a woman. You don’t have emotions, feelings, compassion, not for a bird and not for anyone else. It’s not the first time I am shocked by how carelessly we teach our kids. 

Another time I saw a family feeding ducks in a protected landscape. The sign next to them said: PLEASE DON’T FEED THE DUCKS – IT MIGHT KILL THEM. I asked them to please stop it and the man attacked me: “Leave us alone, we are here to relax, just go off you annoying woman.” I nearly through him into the lake. Wish I had. 

He, too, taught his kids that it is right to act wrong and to then get defensive and aggressive.

IT IS NOT

Our children are the future, and we shape the future by being their guideposts. We want them to have all the resources they need: from drinkable water to blue skies, breathable air, to kindness, gentleness, standing up for others and generally lead a good life. It’s not about what we say but about what we do. How we act. 
So, from all my heart I beg you fathers and mothers out there to be the right example. 

I remember how I admired my father, how I soaked up whatever he said because he was so important to me. I remember how I needed, wanted, sought his guidance. I also know that guidance, even if you went through the worst up-bringing ever, can be full of knightliness and kindness, if you listen to your voice within.
A better world starts right now with all the tiny little things we do. Because by doing we show others a way of living – even more so if we have kids. Fathers, I know what honour resides in you, may it guide you and shine strong and kind. 

A really powerful person doesn‘t need to attack, he defends. When you are really powerful, you know when to stop and how to do the least damage. When you are powerful, you protect and serve those who are not. You speak up. You are present. And by simply exuding this aura of confidence and power most of the problems dissolve. 

I don’t know when it became ok to attack those that are weaker. When it became alright to keep attacking, although the opponent is already on the ground. When did we allow animals to be treated badly? When did we accept that muscle decides, not our brain, or heart, or intuition. The most respectable men are both: strong and gentle. They are so sure of themselves that they can laugh about themselves, they take life with a wink. 

You see the thing is, we destroy ourselves by doing that – the same way we accepted nature to be exploited and now have to face the consequences: climate change, more damages to our cars, houses, and harvests. It kills us. It also kills relationships, but that’s another story. And sadly, we destroy that which we love most: our children. 

We do have a chance to turn around. Every single one of us has the power and the tools to do so. Speak up for yourself, don’t let others treat you badly. Help others. Treat nature – animals and plants and stones and trees – with respect. Turn of the lights when you leave a room. Separate the waste. Walk. And be aware of what you have, cherish it. This will make you the best man and the best woman. For the future of our kids. 

Dr. Verena Radlingmayr, writer, author, and world enthusiast writes the Blog of the Guild of Light, a blog meant to inspire individuality in a new light, as well as books, stories, and poems. www.emc4success.com

The gap to what children need

The gap to what children need

Today we focus on one piece of the puzzle of what children need. They need us to accept that there is a knowledge gap. Ever since the genetic leap of 2000, adults are confronted with totally new challenges. We all want the best for our kids and opening our horizon will be another useful development. 

What is this gap?
The gap as I call it results from a simple difference in our brains’ capabilities. Whereas we as adults have some abilities regarding the new skills, kids have a lot more. What makes it a knowledge gap is the fact that no-one taught us. Until know. 

Every generation has a challenge, the youngsters challenge the elders. That’s necessary in order for mankind to develop. 

The reactions

There are different reactions and people can be divided into groups  – and while I think we all fit in all of them, you might relate more to one group than the others.

Group 1: The embracer

The embracer totally goes for the idea of a new era, a new species, new kids. Often they would use labels such as ‘Rainbow Kids’, ‘Indigo Children’, ‘High Sensitivity’ or ‘Enlightened’.

As the development we face is mental and spiritual rather than bodily, it is natural to try to name it. It simply is. 

If we are part of this group we tend to over-idealise our children and undermine their need for guidance and support. We give them our full love and admiration. They are special and hence we are, too. Being clear on your principle and on the outcome of ‘Project Child Raising’ is a useful addition to your approach. 

Group 2:The development resistant

What I cannot see, I cannot touch, is unreal. Of course, our mental abilities manifest in very many ways, logic is simply one of them. These group has all the skills necessary to support the cognitive abilities in a child. They tend to struggle with the abilities that are part of the knowledge gap. 

Emotion, sensitivity, and instinct are skills used by the best of mankind. Scientists, athletes, managers – they all rely on their gut, they thrived because of their ability to use their brains to follow a gut instinct.

What I don’t know cannot be real can be a limiting belief. If you want to shift into a broader view, think of the following example: For a while mankind did  not know that genetics alone were not sufficient to decode our DNA. We strongly believed that diseases are passed from one generation to the next. Epigenetic taught us differently. 

A development towards integration of new thinking is useful if you feel you are too strongly embedded in this group.

Group 3: The devoted

It’s all about the child. She needs to be defended, she needs to be protected, she needs to have whatever she wants. He needs to sit down, relax, not to be worried, kept from harm and challenges. We all want the best for our kids. Letting them discover the world and experience obstacles and how to overcome them all on their own, fuels their self-esteem and self-confidence, important traits when someone offers you drugs or peers push you to do sth stupid. 

Establishing a sense of self and purpose shall get you to be able to let go a little. Trust you child, he or she is capable. To let loose a little might be useful. 

Group 4: The integrators

Not too much helicopter, not too little guidelines. A little bit of brain and a little bit of instinct. Combined with unconditional love – even if the boy chooses not to follow his father’s footsteps – and based on the principles that define us, we find a way to parent our child. 

Example: ADHD

Recent studies show that ADHD structure in the brain can be transformed into a less diffuse one, a healthy one given the right environment. If you are interested in the details follow Prof. Hüther. As I am open to the least intrusive approach when helping a child I would try everything before I gave brain-numbing medication to my child. 

Maybe there is something we gain when we label someone ADHD? Calm, piece, less effort, integration into the mass against individuality. It can also make you feel special, as one is so devoted to such a problematic child. It is easier to sedate someone than to stand up and fight for the child to have a treadmill in class. NLP practitioners around the world know that a kinaesthetic learner needs movement in order to be able to comprehend new ideas. That’s not new. What is new is the fact that due to the brain’s and the genetic’s development kids nowadays learn faster and need less time to recuperate and refuel their energy. So of course, after a long day in the office, we wish for a quiet evening…

If we resist development we are inclined to listen to doctors and others rather than to our child and our hearts. As a mother, we know in our hearts what is right. As a father, we are knightly enough to see and fight injustice. So if you have a feeling, evaluate the facts, research knew development and make a decision. Revise, when necessary. 

You can

As adults, parents and caregivers we are destined to love our kids unconditionally and to support them the way they need it to grow into the knights and chatelaines we want them to be. 

Bolg of the Guild of Light www.emc4success.com Verena Radlingmayr is entrepreneur, consultant and advisor helping you reach a state of harmony to proceed your path.