There are different sides to every story: yours, mine, and one we don’t seee. there are different sides to equality and this article sheds light on the various sides in order to promote togetherness. Together men and women can achieve balance, achieve it all. Team work makes the dream work. Here is why.
As I am a trained lawyer I‘ll make a case for team playing and togetherness and not simply rant about the unfairness of the pay gap. I’d like to encourage male and female readers to bond in their common goal of equality. This is an invitation to women and men to see a new side of cooperation and coexistence.
I have been told that I can do everything a man does. Women praise each other for being strong. Jump in. Carry the weight of the world. Without hesitation. Without payment or less payment than men. Fact is, women do what men used to do-in work life, at home, and burn out while getting paid a third of what man do. Why is that? Stating the obvious is barely helpful so I tried to look at the case with curious detachment.
One of the reasons could be an intrinsic quality of women: caring empathy. For years, decades, centuries even women held the tribe and the family together by caring for them. And they did whatever the job included: changing nappies, tending to the fields, cooking, washing, cleaning. Providing psychological advice and loving support. All in a days work. And if the next day brought on something new, an ad-on? She’d just integrate it into her routine.
Never have I heard of a housewife charging for the three star gourmet meal she ‘rustled up’. Then men started cooking and Michelin stars were born.
Women carry this attitude into the job. Hence, during my time in HR, I’ve seen young female CEOs being paid the salary of a not-so-senior accountant. Women asking other women in similar roles what they got paid in order to justify a pay raise. They didn’t realize how much they brought to the table. Where women often feel the need to prove themselves before asking for a pay raise, men won’t. Ever.
Neither approach is right or wrong. It’s a fact.
Further, I’ve never encountered a male boss saying no to my getting a pay raise. But only when I talked to my female friend Debby who holds a managerial role in a huge company and teaches women the skills every man takes for granted, did I understand why it’s okay to ask for more. Why it’s expected.
The biggest challenge for women is always coming up with the arguments, as they don’t see that so much of what they do is not part of the job description.
And today I’d like to invite team leaders all over the world to think about that. There is a proverb saying there are always three sides to a story: one you see, one I see and one we both don’t see. I’d like to change that. One you see, one I see and the one we make visible—together.
If I had a daughter, I’d like her to have male role models to teach her the game and female ones to help her play it her way. I’d like her to do what she loves and being able to make a living from it. I’d like her talents-Hard skills and soft skills, to be valued, appreciated. I’d like her to have an understanding of the differences in order to not be affected by them. Because nothing worse than a woman loosing her intrinsic abilities in order to be able to survive. Equality is not sameness.
I’ve seen families working together as a team. Businesses who do everything to support women. We need to share the differences in the approach towards life and work in order to overcome them. For equality. And maybe then the role of the First Lady would be a job, paid. And every women would see the deceit in the ‘you can do everything’. You can, but do you have to? And would a man get paid for it?